CSI Miami Fic - Confessions

Title: Confessions
Author: Ragna (afteriwake)
Fandom: CSI: Miami
Rating: PG
Charater(s)/Pairing: Calleigh Duquesne/Ryan Wolfe friendship, mentions of past Calleigh relationships with Jake Berkley, John Hagen and Peter Elliot
10_hurt_comfort Prompt: #4 (Drunk)
Summary: Ryan should have known better than to let Calleigh get drunk...
Warnings: Set after "Man Down" but not really spoilery.
Notes: For Nikki, who wanted Ryan/Calleigh fics, and for toomuchfandom, who wanted a Miami fic inspired by the lyrics I'll never run him over, I really don't want to dent my car. from "Sick" by Son Of Dork.

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"Hey there, Cal," he said, sliding into the booth next to her. He was not too surprised to have received this type of call. He hadn't been able to stay with her that evening, to keep an eye on her, but he'd told her if she got drunk to make sure the bartender called him. Taking a good look at her he started to wish he'd left the paperwork alone until the next morning and had just stayed with her that night, talked her out of at least half the alcohol she'd consumed.

"Ryan!" she said, a bright wide smile on her face. "Ryan, you wanna have a drink with me?"

He shook his head. "I'm not really in the mood for a drink right now, Calleigh."

"Oh, you should be. Everything's okay. We got the bad guy and Eric's...and we got the bad guy." She reached over and groped for a shot glass. She picked it and looked at it. "Can I get another one, bartender?"

Ryan put his hand on her arm. "No, Calleigh. I think it's time for you to go home now."

"No, Ryan. I want to drink."

He sighed, and leaned back, shutting his eyes. There was no point in asking how much she'd had; the bartender had already given him a good idea. And the bartender had also told him some of what she'd talked about. He was trying to figure out where to go with this. "Calleigh..."

"You know, if you were Jake you'd be encouraging me to let my wild side out." Ryan opened his eyes and looked at her. She'd given up on trying to drink the contents of the empty shot glass of get more, and had now slumped against the wall, looking at him. "I don't think Peter would have even encouraged me to drink in the first place and John...not sure." She giggled slightly. "He had some problems."

He knew who each of the men mentioned was, and he also knew she'd had some sort of relationship with each. It fit in with what the bartender had said she was talking about before he'd had her moved to a booth for her own safety. "Yes, I know," Ryan said simply, nodding.

"I always go for men with problems. Jake's an idiot, and Peter...he had problems, I just can't remember what his were." She shut her eyes. "And then John...well, I'm sure you know what his were. Everyone did. Bad back my ass." She opened her eyes again. "And then there's you."

He opened his eyes a little wider, stunned. "Me?"

"Yes, you, Mr. Wolfe. You...your problem is you don't make a move. Sure, you asked Natalia out but that didn't go anywhere." She looked around, then leaned in and put her lips close to his ear. "And," she continued, her voice dropping to a whisper, "you are chicken."

"How am I chicken?" he asked. He wasn't angry, just curious. He had never seen Calleigh drunk; as far as he knew, she had maybe a few drinks a month but most of the time was the designated driver of her group. Drunken Calleigh was a new experience.

She pulled away and looked right into his eyes. "You only made a move towards Natalia to piss Eric off. And it didn't work so you gave up. I mean, I like Eric and I know you like Eric...or at least now you do...but then you two didn't like each other much and you're a chicken because you didn't even think about maybe asking me out." She nodded as she said that.

Ryan blinked for a second. It was true he liked her, and possibly true that he'd been apprehensive to ask her out and had asked Natalia out... Damn she was perceptive, he thought to himself.

"Anyway," she continued. "I like you. I don't think I'd ever consider hitting you with a car like I've done with Jake...which I won't actually do because I like my car too much to give it a Jake-sized dent. And you don't keep too many things from me, or at least not important things like, oh, the fact you're engaged. I may not ever forgive Peter for that one." Her expression changed. "And I don't want to talk about you in comparison to John."

"You don't have to..."

"Or maybe I should. Did you know I didn't cry? He shot his brains out in front of me and I couldn't cry over it. You know I was just relieved that he was done being in pain?" The look on her face was one that was a little scared, like she'd been thinking about something she didn't want to think about. "After...after today, after the whole thing, with Eric...I didn't cry. Is something wrong with me, Ryan?"

He didn't know what to say. He acted on instinct, though, and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer to him. He felt her stiffen up and then relax, putting her arms around him and leaning her face into the crook of his neck. "Nothing's wrong with you, Calleigh," he said finally. "I promise, nothing's wrong with you."

"Maybe there is," she said, her voice catching. Her grip on him tightened, and he did the same to her. "Maybe I'm a heartless bitch who just doesn't deserve to be happy."

He didn't like hearing her talk like this. Calleigh was the most pulled-together person he knew, the one who had the least self-doubt. To hear her like this actually scared him. "Calleigh, I'm taking you home now, okay?"

"Okay," she said quietly. He felt a little wetness on his shoulder, and when she looked up at him, he saw tears started to form. He gave her a small smile and reached over to wipe the tears away before they fell. "I'm crying, aren't I?"

"Yeah, Calleigh, you are."

She nodded for a second, then moved right back to where she had been, letting Ryan rub her back and talk to her softly as she finally let the tears she'd held in for so long fall.